Last night, I remembered something funny. One of the funniest things that's ever happened to me as a direct result of my life primarily being dedicated to music. This reminder came in the form of a remarkable coincidence: as I was listening to the album "EREBUS" by bvdub and Loscil, I received a notification telling me that someone had just purchased a digital copy of the darling album "oak" for $1. As fate would have it, that is precisely the album in which I sampled two Loscil tracks as part of a multi-layered collage, a seemingly insignificant decision that would bring unforeseen consequences 4 years later.

On the morning of May 1st, 2025, whilst visiting my girlfriend in-person for the second time ever, I find a strange email from the previous day that I'd been too busy living a fulfilling life to notice in the moment. Sent by a "mr. kranky" through the Bandcamp contact form, its subject line reads "shame", while its body reads "have you none?" followed by two links. For a brief, heart-stopping moment, all signs seemed to point in the direction of Somebody Just Put A Bunch Of Bullshit In A Google Document And Your Public Execution Will Begin 24 Hours From Now. As it turns out, the truth made significantly less sense. These links had absolutely nothing to do with my then-recent performance art piece divulging the mundane details of my therapeutic ageplay practices & life-long incest fetish; one led to track 2 of "oak", while the other led to a Loscil track I sampled in it. At this point, my assumption is that a particularly sensitive musical elitist simply took it upon themselves to reprimand me for Using A Sample They Were Able To Identify, thereby indicating that said sampling choice must be Lazy. The truth, once again, was significantly more baffling!

5 days later, amidst an hours-long ride back home during which I'm unable to do much of anything, I receive an even more alarming email labelled "[Bandcamp Support] Re: Copyright Infringement Claim: darling". This is where everything clicked into place.

The content you uploaded to Bandcamp located at the following URL(s) was the subject of a takedown notice we received from kranky pursuant to the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (“DMCA”). kranky has asserted ownership of this content and that you uploaded that content onto the Bandcamp.com website without permission to do so:

https://darlingsays.bandcamp.com/track/new-little-ends

We have removed the content at this time. If you believe your content has been taken down in error, please so inform us.

...That was "mr. kranky" as in kranky records, as in Loscil's home label, not as in A Random Passerby Who Is Currently Feeling Cranky And Nicknamed Themselves Accordingly. Silly me! I double check the original message; sure enough, it was attributed to none other than krankyinfo@gmail.com, the very same "general contact" address listed on kranky's official website.

That's right, folks! An operator of kranky, home to some of the most legendary talents in all of ambient music, felt threatened enough by little ol' me to issue a whole-ass DMCA takedown notice. Before unpacking the innate absurdity of that scenario though, I'd like to address the legitimacy of the takedown itself. While I can't dispute the uncleared nature of my offending sample choice(s) — a quality shared with virtually every other vaporwave sample in history — mr. kranky's righteous indignation is evidently predicated on an alleged lack of shame first and foremost, or in other words a perceived 'laziness' of the production. Upon reviewing the original project file, I really couldn't say this argument held water.

Remaining in line with my personal goals for the darling project as a whole — to avoid playing singular unaccompanied samples at all costs, and develop a uniquely intricate form of ambient vaporwave — "new little ends" had demonstrably more going for it than one measly Loscil sample in isolation, as most hilariously evidenced by the second simultaneous Loscil sample mr. kranky spectacularly failed to identify. Still, it wasn't worth risking a Bandcamp account over, and as such, I begrudgingly replaced the initial track with a complete overhaul boasting several new layers of wholly original recordings.

But again, it's patently absurd that any of this occurred to begin with. What label operator in their right mind would earnestly deem it worth their precious time to not only copyright strike a vaporwave track that peaked at a mere 300 total plays — only 80 of which were complete plays, according to my Bandcamp statistics — but also personally belittle the creator of it via email? We have two prime suspects: Brian Foote, a co-operator since 2005 whose musical alias is fittingly named Leech, and Joel Leoschke, the one remaining original co-founder. If I had to make an educated guess, it was most likely Brian, judging by kranky's "press contact" address being filed under his name alone, but in the interest of covering all my bases, I'll be referring to these men collectively as Briel Fooschke.

Briel, let's call this for what it is: a record label owner with delusions of grandeur utilizing his position within the petite bourgeoisie of "indie" music to recreationally bully a no-name artist. I mean, seriously, the optics of this are hilariously bad. A grown adult man with industry connections exercising his pittance of authority to erase the obscure work of an unemployed arguably-disabled transgender teenage girl from public availability. I was 17 when I made that album. You might as well have kicked a puppy while you were at it. In what conceivable universe did "new little ends" pose anything resembling a meaningful financial threat? Ooh, wow. That darling album made a whopping $20 total before its most heinous track was heroically eradicated by the ever-courageous Briel Fooschke. Shame, Briel. Have you none?

And in all honesty, despite your insistence on making a mortal enemy of me specifically, your business model is wholly reliant on people like me: online music obsessives whose lives were changed by Godspeed You! Black Emperor or Tim Hecker or [Insert Other Such Artist Whose Previous Critical Acclaim You Ride The Coattails Of] and still want to keep up with new releases of theirs, a fact made comically transparent by the amount of your label's Instagram page that entirely consists of reposting the covers & titles of past iconic releases in a desperate bid for enthusiastic answers to the question "Hey, remember when we were cutting edge?". Rest assured, any future purchases I make of these artists' work will be exclusively channeled through the second-hand market to ensure 0% of my hard-earned cash arrives in the pockets of someone willing to be this gleefully petty, self-righteous, and thoroughly devoid of empathy. Congratulations, you flunked PR 101.

It's a shame that Loscil's music may forever carry a loose mental association with the miserable attitude of Briel Fooschke for me, because I understand logically it's not exactly Loscil's fault that ownership of his work lies in the wretched claws of a sniveling parasite who I can only assume has vivid wet dreams every night about abandoning his utterly replaceable role in the art world and instead assuming the occupation of a lawyer specializing in frivolous copyright litigation. Maybe Nintendo's legal team is more your speed, Briel. Any ROM hacks you believe shouldn't exist without express permission? Any hardware modifications that tickle your litigious bone? I hear someone's working on an emulator for the Switch 2; better stake out their residence and report the precise mundanities of their weekly routine back to your superiors, like the good little bootlicking boy you apparently feel a quiver in your undies at the thought of becoming. Follow your one true calling as an artless bureaucrat. I believe in you!

By the way, to whom it may concern: I see at least 4 copies of the original "new little ends" still being shared on Soulseek upon searching "darling new little ends oak". That is a neutral, matter-of-fact statement, the ultimate takeaway of which is an exercise left for the reader. And my new favorite member of the kranky roster is To Kill a Petty Bourgeoisie, solely for their name's incredible relevance to this situation.